Posted by pixiestixy on Monday, October 26th, 2009 - 34 Comments
Tags: children, children's week, high inquisitor, murlocs, orpan, orphanarium, toddlers, war casualties, wolvar
The High Inquisitor is a new regular column at Project Lore that seeks answers to the greatest mysteries of Azeroth. Each week, the inquisitor will attack a previously unanswered question and attempt to explain the unknown. But she won’t rest until all plausible explanations are explored. The best, most probable comment(s) will be highlighted with the next edition’s inquisition.
Hello, and welcome to another weekly inquisition! Last time, we had even more participation from readers who wanted to give input on the magical mystery of bag space. And we weren’t the only ones with the topic on the brain. After that post, the official Warcraft twitter account asked the same question of readers, also paying tribute to a pretty hilarious artist’s depiction of Warcraft bags. They even showed Project Lore some love when I replied that we also were looking into the question!
But, all that aside let’s take a look at what a couple of our readers thought:
Quite a few comments seemed to support ViperhawkZ’s idea: “It’s probably that the inside of the bags in part of another dimension, so we aren’t physically carrying the items but we can reach in and grab them.”
Ellifain and a couple of others had another explanation: “To make high level bags, do you not have to use MAGICAL reagents to craft them? Thus making the bag magical too?”
Both are definite possibilities. And the best part: Make it like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. It’s not written directly into the lore, so you can decide on your own explanations.
But, moving on, we have more to discuss. This week, I want to know: Where are all the children? Sure, all the little orphans come out for Children’s Week and we get to make amends for kidnapping wolvar pups or killing off their murloc families by performing good deeds like talking to them, showing them around Azeroth and Outland and eating yummy sweets while they watch (wait, good deeds?). But where are they during the other 51 weeks of the year?
Logic would say, they’re in the Orphanarium, of course. And I’ll accept that as an answer for some of this child population. But not all of them. Why don’t we ever see kids in low-level outposts, or in the original capital cities, where they would be somewhat safe (at least compared to anywhere else around Azeroth)? Where are the playgrounds, parks, training areas and schools? The only instance of those I can think of off the top of my head is the Argent Crusade gruntling “companion pet,” which could be more along the lines of child slave labor than anything else.
I don’t expect to see many kids in the high-level areas of the world, but even there one would expect to see some.
So, I’ll throw out a couple of possible explanations to get the ideas rolling. Perhaps kids are all around, as would be expected, but they have learned to hide from pretty much everyone, given the state of warfare within their world.
Or, beyond hiding, maybe the children are protected by some kind of magical ward that makes them invisible to most everyone. This could explain why, even during Children’s Week, we need a whistle to make them appear.
These answers, however, are not yet satisfactory enough. Why do you think children appear to be so absent from the World of Warcraft?
Related Posts: The High Inquisitor: With Respawns and Spirit Heals, Who Can Win?, The High Inquisitor: Why Are Dwarves Drunken, Scottish Miners?, The High Inquisitor: How Can Bags Carry All Our Crap?, Episode 5.2: Botanica, Kindercraft: Warcraft Adventures with Toddlers,
By Spifftastic on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
I’m not entirely sure. It’s possible the kids are kept somewhere safe, but I’m not sure where ATM.
Tho if you poke around the Barrens, there are a fair number of Orc children running around.
By Lil Ole Me on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
That babies are all in Nagrand, being taken care of by a matron there…
By 4Khazmodan on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
There are quite a few little kids running around Stormwind, and teasing each other to no end, and it clutters up the chat box . Also as a note, you only see human or orc, or blood elf and draenei, and dwarf children. No troll, undead, tauren, gnome or night elves, or forsaken in sight
By Hatell on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
People are too busy fighting to make more babies. That’s my only idea. Plus, stress does not do well in the reproduction area. Erm, I’m not talking about the act, I mean the organs.
By lightninghoofftw on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
well forsaken are people who died so unless they died young i doubt there would be kids and maybe theres just an orphananage somewhere in the world they can all just teleport to and from
By Azurienatei on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
I can think of multiple ideas. Yes, one’s that they’re either good at hiding (save those running around Stormwind or other cities where we’ve spotted them), and there’s the refugee children that appear in Shatthrat. But I mostly think that any children that there are in Azaroth are being kept indoors. Yes, I believe that the denizens who have children feel that the world has become so dangerous (and apparently will only get more dangerous) that they don’t wish to risk their kids’ safety, so they keep them close to home. Thus, when we happy adventurers arrive, the bring them inside to discourage them from being so foolhardy.
As for Forsaken children, come on, people. Obvious point: No one wants to think of a poor little kid who’s stuck as an undead, rotting corpse for eternity! I mean I feel sad just doing quests for ghost kids, I don’t want to see undead ones running around! And then there’s the possibility that most children struck down by the Scourge plague aren’t strong willed enough to have been freed from Arthas’ control…I mean, what could be both sadder and more frightening than being attacked by flesh-eating zombie kids?
By Rickroll on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Gnome kids are probably left out for the fact they would probably be squashed too easily by careless adventurers… also, think about how cruel it would be to include them, children of any race, just to have them be fodder for raids on major cities. Forsaken children would make no sense… why would anyone raise a child from the dead to be part of their army.. it would be like a gnome warrior.. it just doesn’t look right.
By Rickroll on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
a tauren rogue would also look weird… i wonder if there is a fine glassware seller in Thunder Bluff
By cocopuff on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
you wanto know whear all the kids are? they are behind the computer playing this game
By Carlos aka Kershocker on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Have you seen the Chocolate Factory in Stormwind?
No?
Well, they are ALL eating there.
By Billy on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Well if you actually poke around a bit you can find baby tauren around.
By Zerth on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
I ate them, simple, cruel, but true answer.
By Jinasou on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Forsaken are all adults who fell to the plague and Night Elves are all old because they were Immortal, so they probably just stopped for awhile in the child making area. Now that they’re mortal again, they’ve had a few years to try it out again and they’re all babies right now. The other races all should have their own children running around their respective Capitals.
By Meloran on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Does the lack of children mean the Erotic Role Players are actually doing Azeroth a favor by trying to repopulate it?
By Kuro on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
this is how I see it
Night Elves are more or less immortal and with any immortal race breeding is usually impossible
undead are dead
Gnome and Dwarf children would be to small to see lol
as for tauren,trollbabies no idea..I mean if when in raged and in heat a troll can make love over 50 times in one night…you’d think they would of bred like jack rabbits
By Dr. Jones on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
! There’s tauren children! At Agmar’s Hammer! At the top of one of the taurs! And they’re ugly like hell!
By Phanttas on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 2:31 am
I think that over time the children of Azeroth evolved to become safe from all those gigantic spiders, raging elementals and opposing faction members by turning invisible. The children stay like this while they train to become adventurers themselves, but do it in a safe way, because the creatures they are trying to take [enlarged spleen]s from can’t see them. Some of the children realise that they aren’t going to every be good enough to be an adventurer and stop being invisible to live their life running round Stormwind free of the perils of adventuring. The other children however, once they have been training for several years, suddenly get a calling to run to a certain place to start their true lives, where they become visible at last: the starting zones. If you hang around them for long enough you can see this miraculous act happening.
-As a side note, some of the children don’t have the confidence to become visible completely. These are the rouges of World of Warcraft. How else would they turn invisible…?
By saphia on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 7:25 am
What about teenagers? I always wondered if those odd characters on the Alliance quest in Borean Tundra just outside Valiance Keep in that mine area were supposed to be teenagers. They’re smaller than regular NPCs. What’s the deal with them? Maybe they’re tests for new human designs.
It seems we have a few babies you can find in cradles. Some who are about 7 years old and then they magically become adults.
By Iron Raven on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 8:25 am
They havent heard MJ’s dead yet so they are still in hiding
By jackabassalope on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 9:25 am
the better question might be- why can’t WE have kids? wouldn’t that be a great way to get an alt? once you hit lvl 80 you can go out and get with npcs of factions you’re exalted with. nightelf/dreanei hybrid or a human/furbolg hybrid? start them off at a higher lvl cuz they got kick-ass parents.
the bees’ knees, i say
By Elsey on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 11:02 am
@ iron Raven
/facepalm
By Togarox on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Where are my moo babies?!?
By Punkyniko on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
If i’m not mistaken aren’t there troll kids down in the dancing troll area between Darkshire and Moonglade?….Otherwise…where would you put your kids if you were on Azeroth? I know where mine would be….out mowing the lawn!
By Talcoya on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
there are a lot of possible houses in most cities that could have the kids there but the doors are closed and locked so we cant get to them
By aadjed on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 4:35 am
They should be in school n on the weekends they take trips disneyworld n such.
By Mav on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 5:27 am
Maybe because of all those wars, crusades and whatnot they’ve stopped making them for a while. Many of them must be orphans for the very same reason, many people died out there, take the Wrath Gate for example.
By Ursulamajor on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 7:16 am
If only someone would make “WoWSims”, then we’d be able to play the homelife of our toons…spouses, kids, laundry and all.
By PatrickD on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
The kids just grow up really fast and move out of town. I heard some joined up with the Terran forces recently and have become space marines.
By seiouslycomeon on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
really. SW ppl
By bob on Friday, October 30th, 2009 at 4:03 am
there are little babies for all the races in shattrath orphanage the Tauren one looks so funny. I dont think there is an undead but there is a gnome and its like 5 times smaller than the others.
By The NoteBooker on Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Gnomes and Dwarf: The Gnomes recently got their home invaded and gassed, all the babies are dead.
The Dwarf is a mining race, their children are at unseen mines off in the mountains.
Night Elf: Their pretty much immortal, they don’t need kids.
Trolls: They pretty much got wiped out by the orcs and their
own sacrifice thing.
Orcs: You see em from time to time.
Undead: Soft tissue is the first thing maggots go for, even if they could reproduce, the undead are alive by magic and their bodies are liquid-less so they couldn’t go full-term.
Dreanai: I would assume only adults are fit for space travel, seeing how 20% of your bone mass is loss, all the kids were left to die.
Blood Elf: You see kids running around im alot of places.
You also have to consider that most of the houses in the cities are closed off, So there could be kids just sitting around inside all day.
By The NoteBooker on Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Tuaren: Their kids just look weird, i wouldn’t blame em if they were thrown off the cliffs they live on.
Humans: Very active race….
By Bob on Friday, November 6th, 2009 at 12:50 am
When I was a little Undead in the wonderfull world of Warcraft I was hiding in caves underneath Tirisfal Glades. Small holes in the ground gave me access to these wonderfull caves. Every year on my birthday I had to go to a hole to see if I could get out.
On my 15th birthday they told me I might be to big the following year to get out through the hole in the wall. they gave me 2 options. Stay in caves and tutor the next generation or STAY OUT!… And so I was forced to start my adventures live. But hey, what an adventure that turned out to be…
By Prower on Sunday, November 8th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
They all got lost corpse running back to wherever it was they were swatted down like critters last